Dear Sir or Madam,

It has come to our attention that there are certain things that need to be curtailed or, to put it mildly, sat upon. We are aware that these matters have a certain importance to you and thus we felt it wise to bring them to your attention with the utmost of speed. Although certain of our members have already turned odd shades of purple there are others among us which are still only pinkish with increasing blotchiness towards the edges. What we feel would expedite these matters most bucolicly is if you were to reply to us as soon as possible with the following information: a name: ; an animal: ; a color or taint: ; the name of a celebrity or other luminary: ; an illness or pain that you find most suitable: ; a time: ; a shape: ; and a flavor or scent: 
Once you feel comfortable with the choices you have made in regard to our query indicate in whichever manner is . If, however, you feel that your replies do not meet your normal standards of perfection, take it upon yourself to wipe the proverbial slate and start afresh.

Yours in all eagerness,
The Management.

P.S. There is no DADA which doesn't shout.

P.P.S. Please pardon the infection.