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Christian's curvaceous toes trembled and his brown eyes wobbled. He looked sad, his body raw like a substantial, slobbering sandwich.
Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Christian Giantbulb was dead.
Molly Mapcap went back inside and made herself a nice drink of Zima.
THE END

Alex Pass came across the dead body of Christian Giantbulb. Who could have committed such a heinous crime? Pass was on the case!

Worse yet, who commits a crime with a bendy diaper?

MY PENIS HURTS!!!!! MY PENIS HURTS!!!! MY PENIS HURTS!!!

MY PENIS HURTS!!!!!

MY PENIS HURTS!!!!

MY PENIS HURTS!!!! MY PENIS HURTS!!!

And in the 1000 block of Monterey Avenue in Morro Bay, CA, sits a lonely old fat schizophrenic trailer park manager wondering how she is going to entertain herself today. Have a nice waddle, Julie, and when you come back to Emma (yer computer), you can cry out for help some more on the internet. What if this is as good as it's going to get, honey? Don't forget to take yer Paxil CR and yer Zoloft! God bless you, dear.

Death walks in and you notice he is wearing an iPod. Although this should be the most frightening time, you can't stop wondering to what Death is listening. Johnny Cash? Marilyn Manson? The A-Teens? What makes Death want to boogie? You muster the courage to ask him. After all, what is the worst he could do to you at this point? Threaten to kill you? This makes you giggle a bit, which piques Death's interest in you. Not many people titter upon seeing the Reaper. He removes his earbuds and glides over to you. You clear your throat and ask to see the iPod. You laugh again when you see it is an iPod shuffle. Damn, Death is cheap, too. You ask him the name of his favorite song. He answers, Hit Me Baby One More Time. Out of nowhere Britney Spears makes him a ham sandwich, and out pop radioactive chickens! Aaaaah! you scream as the audience laughs at you. Then out of nowhere you're teleported to hell, where you crap your pants over and over for all eternity. THE END

Mike Bossy may be the greatest goal scorer in the storied history of the National Hockey League. Plying his ice for the New York Islanders,Bossy shattered several records in the early years of his career,lighting the lamp almost very game and creating nightmares for defenses across The League. Stupidly derided by the likes of Don Cherry for his stance against fighting,The Bossman was a solid gold,non pareil marksman.

Hockey is for faggots.

Hey, Porky. Don't forget to rinse off yer king-sized dildo when you've accomplished yer goal. You wouldn't want to offend yer neighbors there in the trailer park. By the way, yer computer's name is Emma, so naturally I'm curious as to what you call yer celibate bulldyke helper, yer freshly rinsed king-sized dildo? Enjoy another day rotting inside yer tiny green trailer.

This is Julie, the fat lesbian in the green trailer! I'm going to kill you all!

"Willow"? You've got the grace and beauty of a Mack truck. Yer name should be Ignatz or Alma or Miss Piggy. I'll accept Willow Blubberbutt Hogjowls as yer new moniker. It's time for me to sleep soundly. Enjoy yer chronic insomnia.

My, but that was entertaining, wasn't it?

Henri "The Pocket Rocket" Richard was one of the biggest faggots ever to play the so-called game of hockey.

Chris Simon. was being attacked by someone with a bendy diaper! But being the faggot that he is, all he could do was curl up into the fetal position and cry like a little girl!

In a shack there lived a simple, derelict sprite named Chris Simon. Not a wicked fragile, magical shack, filled with eyebrows and a warped smell, nor yet a brown, blonde, sensational shack with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a sprite-shack, and that means comfort.

One day, after a troubling visit from the moose Henri Richard, Chris leaves his shack and sets out in search of three incredible bees. A quest undertaken in the company of ogres, old folk and ample men.

In the search for the moose-guarded bees, Chris Simon surprises even himself with his kindness and skill as a homemaker.

During his travels, Chris rescues a diaper, an heirloom belonging to Henri. But when Henri refuses to try hopping, their friendship is over.

However, Henri is wounded at the Battle of Hastings and the two reconcile just before Chris engages in some serious hopping.

Chris accepts one of the three incredible bees and returns home to his shack a very wealthy sprite.

Glenn Goldup ...contribute to our story.

 

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