Calm down. It only means that you've transgressed various conceptualisations of reality. I've made popcorn...
Popcorn?!! ...Actually, I will take a few, but POPCORN?!!
What's going on here? Someone spiked me, I know it. I know it.
Bet it was Zak, right? He was always pissed off for having a 90s name...
That or Cecil. We don't do business with Cecil.
Ok ok, I know I'm trippin', so now what?
Dozy lion: "shrugs"
Act-u-ally! It's not a venture into your mind, but an adventure into everybody elses mind! Wahay!!!
O..k, why are you so annoying?
Becuz I rep. Everything like mad!!! I'm hot on the bad stuff, and cold af on the good! Wanna like me on Twatface????? You know you..
Seriously, shut it up. That voice, sheesh.. I just want to know where I am, and how to get out and back to my family.
- ...Your kid's been kidnapped.
WHAT? What do you know about my son? Tell me now.
-...just kidding, you need to relaxxxx bub, you're getting all crazzzy there...
You just better stay the fuck away or
-..Or you'll what? You forget where you are, Steve! I can do whateve..
*Pulls the plug* ...Huh.
Well that was easy. Nice. Wouldn't it be terrible if... But nevermind. Roll on..
*Dropping in with horrendous flair*
Spencer calmly reflected on his extreme masculinity and powerful heterosexual urges. Several minutes later, Jerry Seinfeld stepped tentatively into the room and whispered "farting is kind of ok? farting is kind of good?" Julie Morgan stripped out of her workout clothes and yoga pants and showered, admiring her well-toned, slim body in the mirror. Greg Pass admired her from the bedroom with a growing erection. Damn, but that woman turned him on. Someone then settled comfortably onto a soft surface, with no gastrointestinal distress, and lived. The Beginning.
Or was it?
Beginnings are relative. Time is infinite, so if you don't know where you are, time is as useless to you as a third constipated butt.
My, but that was not entertaining, was it?
Yes, it wasn't. Or no, it was. I'm not sure. Fuck it.
Settled comfortably onto a soft surface. No undergarments soiled. Living and breathing. THE BEGINNING. AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES?!
No, I too care. Or at least I did, until I tripped, impaled myself on a fence, crapped my pants -- and died. THE END
As the penultimate fell to their moderately amusing demise, something more interesting was happening:
Jerry Seinfeld: I just meant that natural occurrences in life, could be percieved as kinda funny. I didn't expe..
Inquisition: NOBODY expects the...
Bob Ross: Shut it, Palin.
Michael Palin: ok. I just thought, you know..
Bob Ross: Yeah, we all know what you thought. Bringin' this shit in MY house?!!
Shit. You should be gettin the uptail back thwack for that! But I like your round the world shows, alright?
Michael Palin: All right.
Bob Ross: OK?
Michael Palin: ....ok. (...)
Bob Ross: Right! Now what the fuck is happening, as I appear to have the wrong personality entirely! I mean, for the cunting love of motherfucking love, this ain't no play on the straight lane, no how.
Dennis Archer: Really??? Cause you know man, *sniff* I've heard some really bad talks in my shit baayby.
Graeme Chapman: Oh wait, I'm dead. *sprawls out on the sofa*
Mr Bean: Yes, well I'm not really funny, but the rest of the world seems to like it.
Mr Bean: Yeah, but you have the greatest sense of comedy in the world, even though you've only really produced two worldclass comedians (Obviously Edna, and Mcaliff bloke that NOBODY can spell correctly at any time.
New Zealand: What about us though?!!
Mr Bean: Yes! You are also a country.
Mr Bean: Kids in the Hall, granted. I really didn't ex...
Michael Palin: nnnNObo...
Mr Bean: *points at and then to the door*
Michael Palin: ....ok.
John Cleese: WHAT ABOUT ME! I'M CERTIANLY STILL DOING THIS LOUDLY!
Mr Bean: Alimoney.
John Clease: ...ok....
Eric Idle: That's it, it turns into a gaffers old fart party. Stupid not to just milk the cash cow, 'cause it's all moved on as expected.
Neil Innes: What about Rutland Weekend Television?!!!
Eric Idle: Shutup!!! ..actually...
Larry David: Before we bring the whole gang back, could we maybe get to a point?
Steve was bemused by all of this, and Spencer was pretty much the same as he had been from the start. Julie was different, but you won't be hearing about her. But she's been doing the transcription from the start.
Everything seemed good. Everything seemed stable. But then... SOMETHING HAPPENED. SOMEBODY TRIPPED AND IMPALED HIMSELF ON A FENCE. SOMEBODY CRAPPED HIS PANTS. SOMEBODY DIED. THE END