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not to be thwarted by such an obvious and predictable distraction, a host of 750 foot fusion core mechanical aardvarks folded space and time and leaped into there authorized third dimensional gluten free existence and began to act

exactly in the manner that one would expect from 750 foot tall fusion core mechanical aardvarks...very unsociable and without regard to property values or zoning restrictions that would strictly limit their wanton behavior without proper permits and require massive amounts of liability insurance...

Man, I'm just trying to run my dinky little web site here. Must I get all this flak? How much do you pay to use this? I don't even have any ads anywhere except on guess the dictator. Can't you just use this web site in the way, more or less, that it was intended? Do I have to think of every way that someone can find to trash this place? I've generally avoided filtering things because that just encourages people to find ways around the filters, and that just leads to an escalating arms race. And really, I'd rather be at a club listening to some cool band or doing my real actual paying work than deleting pages and pages of vegetarianism quotes. I'll be forced to make people register to post, and I don't want to do that. Also, since I'm talking to you, expect spotty access over the weekend as I reconfigure the server. So, in closing, can't we all just get along? Thank you and good night.

That brung a tear t' me eye, it did.

those of us who have known of and have visited this site for years (or rather near its first inception) are now doing the dance of joy since we are also very tired of the seemingly endless obsession with scatalogical humor and tangents that are too political and void of all logic...if registering to post is eventually required so be it...if it eliminates the problem you have to do what is needed to maintain the cohesive integrity as was intended from the very beginning.

" The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are"

H.L Mencken of Smart Set Magazine December 1919

THE VALMORX BOWEL MOVEMENT REPORT

Dear Commander,

Per your orders, I, Valmorx, submit this update on my last bowel movement.

I, Valmorx, became fed up with malfunctions in my time machine, so I, Valmorx, decided to defecate in the time machine and send my feces to some unlucky recipient on the other end of the wormhole. It was a most satisfying and voluminous bowel movement, and it had a foul stench. Whoever received my "gift" was most certainly disturbed at the sight and scent.

To my dismay, I, Valmorx, neglected to bring toilet paper into the time machine and as a result, my anal cavity was itchy and uncomfortable for the remainder of the day.

This concludes the Valmorx Bowel Movement Report.

That brung a tear t' me eye, it did.

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth, Jim and Rob were playing basketball at the old school yard, when all of a sudden a giant "BOOM!" rang out into the air. They both grabbed their ears and fell to the ground, not knowing which way to look. "What the hell was that"? Jim yelled as if he was just involved in a major accident. Just then a huge greenish metallic object appeared overhead. "This don't look good!" Rob screamed as they dove for cover. Hi, my name is Jo, and I work, in a button factory i have a wife and SIX children. One day, my boss said to me, he said "Are you busy?" I said "No", "My name is Jo, and I work, in a button factory i have a wife and SIX children. One day, my boss said to me, he said "Are you busy?" I said "No", "My name is Jo, and I work, in a button factory i have a wife and SIX children. One day, my boss said to me, he said "Are you busy?" I said "No", "My name is Jo, and I work, in a button factory i have a wife and SIX children. One day, my boss said to me, he said "Are you busy?" I said "No", "My name is Jo, and work, in a button factory i have a wife and SIX children.

As Jim and Rob hid behind the rose bushes, the greenish metallic object slowly lowered toward the schoolyard. Glancing out from between the leaves, Rob recognized it. It was the John Deere delivery truck that his Aunt Delila used to drive from Arkansas to Georgia, but for some reason it was now capable of flying.

The truck landed, and Aunt Delila stepped out.

She glided through the air, gnashing her solid gold 4k dentures as she flew. I always hated it when Aunt Delila visited. There were reasons she was the family black sheep, after all. ...contribute to our story.

 

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