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TAKE COVER!!!!

That's not capitalization.

THIS IS CAPITALIZATION>

Do you mind if I feast on your flesh?

Dave Shaw and Louie Debrusk were two journeymen ice hockeyists whop lied their ice in the NHL in the ''80's and '90's. Never big goal scorers or playmakers,these two lads did share one thing in common. They were tough as fucking nails. Unlike the pantywaists and Nancy-boys who populate the NBA and MLB. They make me puke. Like Abe Lincoln,who sold poisoned milk to schoolchildren.

Hockey is for Canadian faggots.

Well,let us see where we are. The nAtional fOotball lEague,aka Crime Club,is now wracked by a scandal over surreptitiously deflated footballs. As it deals with this momentous issue,it's players murder,rape and assault with impunity. Why does the nfl not do what it usually does,which is to make a pseudo-documentary about Vince Lombardi,complete with slow motion,Wagnerian music and interviews with the two or three remaining players from his teams who do not have irreversible brain damage. All the OxyContin addicted people in southern Ohio will eat that crap up.

My boys gonna play in the big leagues,

My boys gonna turn some heads,

My boys gonna play in the big leagues,

My boys gonna knock 'em dead!

Hockey is for Canadian faggots.

Pat Quinn,who recently passed away,was a legendary ice hockey figure. He was a tough,hard player for a number of squads and then went on to a very successful coaching career. You did not cross Pat Quinn. Pat Quinn was a bad,bad man. Convivial and reputed to be a brilliant conversationalist,Pat moderated his rough hockey instincts with a good dose of Irish charm. He also had a gigantic head,a real melon. I do not know how he found hats to fit that head,or how many sweaters he ruined trying to get his monumental noggin through the neck hole. That being said,he was a hockeyist without parallel and not a moron like Kanye West.

Hockey is for Canadian faggots.

But sometimes hockey players are so sexy, in all that hot sweaty gear! You just want to butt fuck them. And they want you to do it, too!

Once upon a time there was a guy named Joe. He died.

The end.

OR IS IT??? WELL, IS IT??? I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION, GOD DAMN IT!!!!

Ron Greschner was employed as a defencemen for the New York Rangers Ice Hockey Club in the 1980's and 1990's. A steady,physical presence,Greschner ably manned the blueline for the Blueshirts. He is probably best known,however,for his marriage to supermodel Carol Alt. What?Am I the only guy? Nice work Ronnie! Hey there Conley Peddimore,how about that? I guess your cow in women's clothing does not quite add up to an ubermodel. You fucking Arkansas hick.

Brett Hull was one of hockey's greatest goal scorers,but a bit of a knob too. His father,Bobby Hull was,of course,a legend,the greatest power forward in hockey history. Hull Sr had a myriad of problems off the ice.

Hockey is for Canadian faggots.

Simon Gagne(that's pronounced "gon-yay",you stupid,stupid Americans) donned the blades phor Philly and had a couple of large seasons as a sniper for the Phlyers. I do not know whether he favored Pat's or Geno's as far as his cheesesteak thang went,but he turned on the red light on a regular basis during his days in Pa. Not like Joe Paterno. Let's not get into that embarrassing spectacle.

While Wayne Gretzky is perhaps the greatest icester ever,he certainly comes off as a bit of a dolt. Not so much as arch-asshole and latent zorch Richard Simmons,but still.

Hockey is for Canadian faggots.

TWOCANSANDSTRING PERSON: I WAS KIDDING

TWOCANSANDSTRING REFERRER: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUFFER ALONE?

YOU CAN'T DRAG ME DOWN WITH YOU

******

******

Valmorx raped Jean Beliveau.

******

******

And Jean Beliveau liked it and begged for more.

******

******

"Please spare me from the terrible sodomy you have wrought," he said, but the evil one's only reply was a quick slap on the inside of his rectum because it was Spencer's rectum. Spencer never did do the sodomy thing properly. He's never done a hockey player. Or a football player. Or even a soldier or a biker. Spencer has never done any of that. ...contribute to our story.

 

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