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still bear the psychological scars. It's quite obvious. Please seek help Now, Granny won't stop nagging me like a red-haired stepchild and my Vespa seat is ruined. I put a tracking device on her mobility golf cart so I can find it if it gets stolen. How does that feel, TU.UTZpeanus? Lol Leaky Old Lady Woe to you, massfiction readers. I am the arch nemesis of the tiny, Vespa-riding, uphill gardening, shirt-lifting, short, chubby, gay man known as Micropeanus J. Thorensen aka P.P. Smols. My name is Agent Megaschlong, but my friends call me Big Peter. A small reward is offered for Thorensen's capture. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Lol, Granny, please seek Hungry Fisherman appetizers such as they are and fill your diapers so I can recycle them. Kthxbai, the Rupert legacy is canning sardines with the girls, Karsen & Kandy, who are 72 years old for 12 years. Tell us where the fountain of youth is, Granny. Try to remember the memories before the pupu stepping, mall Santa. Can you even remember? Haha, your shoes will never be clean again, lmaooo Seek help for your mental health, ma'am. How did you end up so very messed up anyway? Was it your upbringing by a mall Santa for a dad, or was it Homer's actuality under the sycamores during the Kenny G concert at Bohemian Grove? Inquiring minds want to know. Lol But first, here's an update on my latest health news and it involves the green apple two-step. Not a comfortable situation to say the least, Granny Blumpkin. Tiptoe through the green apples with me, but watch out for the pupu. Get it? DEPENDS! AHAHAHAA I'm putting that one on the Joke Machine II for posterity. Lol Try to let go of the past, ma'am. Just try. Lol I'm having trouble viewing Uranus. Assistance needed to try and move on from the tough times. Why not focus on the good memories of a heavy, stable telescope so Uranus doesn't vibrate in the eyepiece. I just want a clear shot of Uranus so I can post pics on my social medias. Is that too much for an off-duty mall Santa to ask? Let me know in the comments, Granny Tonight will be a great night to take a peek at the night sky, won't it Granny? Uranus will be fully visible Pretending is the refuge of the meek and mindless or so it is said. It doesn't matter if it's a planet or if it's something else, like a part of the anatomy. That's what makes the dual interpretation of Uranus such a compelling dichotomy. On one hand, it's a planet of the Solar System. On the other, it functions to expel by-products of metabolism. This is why it's only natural to consider the importance of how we define Uranus. It can be appreciated on more than one level but only if Rip Torn gets Dickens Cider My work here is done Then it wasn't much of a career, was it? Kind of like you being a nurse and not being able to hold a job for more than a few months. Must have been your charming personality. 😄 Santa, there's some slush on your boot. Ew, gross! It's running down your leg into your boot and overflowing! Ragnar the Reindeer didn't do that! LMAOOOO Maybe the elves can whip you up a boot plug for Christmas. Now more gibberish from the resident microjalapeno---> For your information, Granny, the size of my - ahem, garden is quite impressive but my secret garden is small, very small. Kind of like my normal thingamabob. It NORMAL Granny! NORMAL Wow, Granny! You must be feeling pretty lonely, huh? Gee, I wonder why. 😔 Did you guys hear about the new MacGruber 2 movie? He rides a Vespa in the trailer. Tee hee lol TU.UTZdiapers hohoho ...contribute to our story.