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finished and told Spencer "See what happens when just when you think I'm dead, sucker?" to which Spencer blankly replied "So fucking what? So you raped me. Why don't you go back to writing bowel movement reports?"
Valmorx thought deeply and concurred. "You're right, my report is overdue."
Dear Commander,
Per your instructions, I, Valmorx, submit to you this report on my last bowel movement.
I, Valmorx, had waken up early and as soon as I, Valmorx, was out of the bed I, Valmorx, had to run to the commode. My bowels required rapid evacuation to avoid a mishap in my undergarments. I, Valmorx, quickly removed my underpants and sat on the rather chilly toilet seat.
A large, semi-solid turd urgently exited my rectum and splashed violently against the cool water residing in the toilet bowl. The water splashed my buttocks and I, Valmorx, nearly shrieked at the uncomfortable coldness.
I, Valmorx, examined the fecal output which revealed a slightly dark-green colour, reminiscent of the spinach salad I, Valmorx, had consumed the prior evening. I, Valmorx, sat back down on the now slightly warmer toilet seat and proceeded to wipe my anus with toilet paper. This was a clean dump, and little wiping was required.
I, Valmorx, flushed the toilet and observed the combination of toilet paper and feces get sucked down into the toilet to be destined for the sewers below.

Have fun hiding in yer trailer on this fine Autumn day, Porky. And don't forget to take yer Paxil.


Goddamnit, Valmorx, we're going to have to call the SPAM AND TRUCKS guy back, aren't we? He doesn't have the time for this anymore, you know. Just go away and let the site do its thing please. I tried that once. The only thing is that you all just started to talk about poop all the time. It made me so angry that I drank a quart of diarrhea, impaled myself on a fence, then crapped my pants. And died. THE END

But then I began again. The turtle turned over. Another round starts. And with a flash and a bang, it comes. The sky open up, and out of the wormholle appears.... SPENCER? What the fuck? All that effort for SPENCER?!?! No one wants to smell his nasty cigarette smoke or listen to Morrissey. I'm going to need hot eyebrows, big, hot eyebrows."

Sophia Bishop had not known love or loss until she risked loosing her admirable father Stanley Blackman.

Her happy life is shattered when her learns that clumsy puppies plan to attack Stanley and she knows she has to stop them or her heart will die.

At 12, the proctologist from Nova Scotia is both popular and cute. But will it be enough to protect Stanley?

She goes to a bar mitzvah in Amsterdam where she acquires some hot eyebrows and diapers. It finally seems that she will be able to stop the puppies that want to attack Stanley.

However, when one of the clumsy puppies bites off Sophia's butt with crippling effect, it looks like her quest is over.

Without butt, will Sophia Bishop be able to save the day?

HR Gigerstuf delivers a brave and poignant story that explores the love between a proctologist and her father.

Susan spent the weekend at her stately home crying at the lions on the garden wall. And then she'd sigh, sneak away. Look at her style, free the day

"Oh no not me, I couldn't." That's all she says, her money and her place. They just don't mean a fucking thing.

Susan met the Lords and Dukes of everywhere, smiling kissing wishing that they'd go to hell. And then she'd laugh, wonder why. Take a nap, sit and cry. Crap her pants, and then die. THE END

And now for something completely the same.

The Dallas Blackhawks were a mainstay, a cornerstone, of the Central Hockey League for may years, providing quality entertainment and outstanding athletic endeavors for gun-toting fascist Texan piggies who were conditioned to only appreciate faux Mexican food, hirsute women, big cars, meth mouth, ZZ Top, religious vomit, baton twirling, bear baiting, and other things which are too nauseating to recount here but which exemplify the American football, rah rah, smashed in head buffalo jump,NASCAR culture.

Rene Robert is a somewhat forgotten icester, but he was an integral part of Buffalo's famed and feared French Connection line, wingman along with Rick Martin with HOFer Gilbert Perreault in the middle.

Valmorx raped Tim Horton while eating a Tim Horton's Doughnut.


My, but that was entertaining, wasn't it?



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